Twice

written in a canyon on a drive that changed my life…. or that drove my changed life back to the Canyon it once belonged.

may 21, 2016

 

Twice
(free verse)

I once wanted God to have all of me.

I once gave Him myself, abandoned.
Once, i would hold nothing from His touch,
to mingle with my life.
Once, He was my love, fervor, light, color, fight, youth.
Once, i saw Him, felt Him, knew Him.
Once, He was all my life, song, taste, art, desire, obsession, default.
Once, all i had was His, my life, my searches, my art, my words, my mind, my purpose, my vision, my craving

was the HE IS.

I’m sitting in a car
crying in my heart
driving through red canyons
and eroded reservoirs
as God shows Him me
eroding me to humility
as He is Grandeur
in the spine of these citadels
and the metallic beauty of power

This is the awakening of my soul
for my tongue in itself cannot
possibly stutter how my lav
burns with crushing-wet sobbing sopping
dust dredge of drunk LOVE.

an it is finished
screamed to echo in these surmounts
in splots the highest summits tip unscarred
and cracks deeper than my heart
His walls cannot be breached
and i try to climb near them
the ground gives way
but you tower over me
as my useless worship echoes
off His eternity
and i keep passing fast
too many crags of Him
to covet to climb
let me never breach your (un)end
sloping too deep and far to trek
with feet broken and inept
i have no time for You
but You sit and wait eternally
in Your justice, power, glory
and choose to woo Yourself to me
the one who needs crushed
yet instead, You give me heavy love
as a giant crouches, kissing tiny dust.

You’re a contradiction
as a folded ribbon
made of rock.

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